Day by Day

Lest you think my life in Peru consists only of scaling mountains and drinking medicine, I must reveal that most of the time I am simply enjoying the pleasures of being human in a beautiful place, surrounded by sympathetic and inspiring people who share a similar desire to explore the depths of our souls, as well as living in cooperation. Currently at Paz y Luz, there is only Eva, my incredible mountaineering Swedish friend, who at the age of 53, after giving birth to 6 children, put me to shame on our hike to Viacha--although she is far too kind to look at it that way. She just keeps telling me it is just that I am not used to the altitude, and Grey, from California, who is the new manager now that the owner has gone on a two month vacation to Argentina. The three of us have formed quite a little family already, sharing food and shopping duties, and enjoying each others company around the fire at night. It is wonderful to be around such positive people who share similar desires, something which has been lacking for me for a long time on Block Island as I have moved through letting go of my various addictions, first physical, then mental and emotional.

So daily life is full of ease and pleasure, although I can feel the mystical in it all. It has been interesting feeling the effects of ayahuasca on my thoughts and feelings since the ceremony eleven days ago. For example, it was very clear that ayahuasca wanted me to write that last blog describing the ceremony. However, I dont feel possessed by any entities. It is more like I have formed a relationship of mutual beneficence with the plant. It helped me with my need, which was to open my heart unconditionally to the experience of being human, and I in turn help it by spreading its message of forgiveness through my words and by embodying this quality. Of course it is a constant process. I am far from perfect, but feel myself moving into greater awareness of the pattern of my own thoughts everyday more and more, noticing how my judgments limit me, becoming aware of who or what irritates me and wondering what the underlying reason for these feelings are, seeing everything as an opportunity to grow.

One of the things that has been difficult has been reconciling the knowledge I have received of this spirit within the earth, a spirit of the underworld, where the past lives, with the energy I have been working with through the Ascended Masters for the past two years. This energy comes down from spirit, not from below, and is far different in vibration than the earth energy. Ive been wondering how they can all coexist, they seem so alien, but I know from my experience, that ayahuasca, too, leads to love, so I am following that love as it unfolds in such a beautiful and now, gentle, remembering. I have been very drawn to stones. I bought a turquoise ball and rose quartz egg, and I have my Manissees hand tools from Block Island with me, and when I hold them, I feel their energy working on me in even more powerful ways than before. In the past, I wanted to know what was happening when I held stones. Now, I am just grateful that something is happening. This shift feels like such a relief==not to long for something more all the time. Whatever comes to me is what I am supposed to know, although I will keep fulfilling my calling by working, by developing my own medicine powers in order to serve....

Yesterday I made sopa de quinoa, walking out into the rain to pick chard and cilantro and parsley from the garden. The mud here is thick and red and I had to scrape it off on the grass, and even then it didnt all come off so that I had adobe feet when it dried. Eva and I walked into town to buy fruit and bread and fresh yogurt, and stopped to chat with Francisco, a shopkeeper here who makes flutes and is an incredible musician. He is going to custom make a quena for me with a low tone, and he and I are going to trade music for English lessons. The quena is quite difficult to play as the mouthpiece is totally different to the bamboo flute that I now play, but Francisco assures me I will be able to learn if I practice, which is true of everything I suppose. He is quite suave and infatuated with Eva, which isnt so great since his wife just gave birth to their fourth child three weeks ago. He told her that he heard Swedish women were legendary lovers and wanted to know if she was interested in a dalliance with him. Fortunately he does not seem interested in a dalliance with me. Eva says she and her friends have goddess names for themselves back home, and she is Aphrodite, which makes sense considering the sexual attention she attracts. I suppose I connect most with the goddesses of the underworld==Persephone, Isis, Ishtar. Not so many are interested in dallying with death and the transformation it requires, which is just fine by me. I prefer to pass unnoticed until I choose.

A friend from Block Island just wrote and said she is actually in Pisac right now. Seems so strange and unreal. Off to find her now, and I wish you all well. I just looked at the new site for the Block Island Poetry Project, which is going to be extraordinary this year. Have a look at the site www.bipoetryproject.com, and I will see you there in April.