I am exhausted. Looking back at past entries here, I'm not surprised. Having an opinion outside the mainstream attracts contempt and ridicule from others, all of which has been directed at me, even though I know there are others who feel the way I do--I was the one who publicly spoke out. I don't know about this whole internet thing energetically. I am connecting with all these people I don't know who have a reaction to what I say. If it is positive, then I get the benefit of their reaction, but if it's negative, I get that too. What to do when you just can't stand the way things are anymore? I started this blog to communicate my vision of the world in the hopes of becoming the change I want to see, and in helping others shift toward creating a sustainable earth. Maybe angering people is just one of the steps on the way, but I am demoralized by the negative reactions my words have received, especially when I have tried to communicate with a peaceful heart. I fear there must still be some anger in me. I am beginning to suspect that words may not be the path for me--that action is necessary. My teacher has said that it's a waste of energy to butt heads constantly with the dominant society which is invested in maintaining its power. One has to just go on, creating the world one wants to live in even though it looks like the one one does live in is about to collapse at any second. I keep not learning this lesson. I keep reacting. I keep spinning on the same spoke of the wheel. Why can't we humans change as easily as the seasons? Or is that an illusion too? Maybe the leaves suffer as they whither and fall to the ground too.